Begin Again (Back to the Start)

I can not believe that the last time I blogged on this blog was a little over a year ago! Not that I have followers who have been begging for me to write. But I can't even remember the last time I wrote about what I thought. (My other blog I keep for my adventures and life experiences) I realize now that I have missed out on almost a year of writing out my thoughts...for myself! I don't care what readers think (sorry not sorry) I need this for myself because I am not an extremely expressive person but blogging releases all of that. So I will begin again.

I recently moved to South Africa for a year. I am expecting God to work and move in BIG ways this year but that's a subject of discussion for another day. Anyway, we just started LTS (Life Training School) yesterday and man my heart is getting full! My brain is overwhelmed with all this information and I've been lucky enough to have all afternoon to process what we learn in the morning. We are discussing God as our Father. I already know this but it is so refreshing to hear it again and find something new! By coming back to this blog and re-reading some of my entries I am beginning to understand more about myself. I think God is taking me back to the little girl who was on fire for everything about the Lord...and I couldn't be more excited!

I think for the past year I have been stuck in an attitude toward God. I recognize this and I will deal with it later ok. But as I sit here, 9,000+ miles away from home, I find comfort in knowing that this is where God will meet me. Even though I have messed up and been distant with Him, His love for me has not changed at all. I am sitting here dumbfounded by how much I have changed and how much God is willing to accept that and fix it. My hardened heart is going to be softened again! And what a beautiful thing that is? To know that no matter what, God will always bring you back to the start. I truly believe that this is where God is taking me. He is taking me back to where it all began, back to His heart.

How do I know to go back to the start? It's been simple really. Since I got here, I've heard worship songs from my childhood and even some of the lessons I remember talking about when I was younger. Random signs have brought me to the understanding that God wants me to travel back to the place where my heart was only about Him.

Why would I want to go back to the start? HELLO! Who wouldn't? This is completely different from starting over. This is reminding me where I come from, what He gave me, skills and desires that have been lost or forgotten along the way. There is no better place than the beginning. This is my chance to be re-molded and renewed.

This may not make any sense to anyone reading this but that's ok. My life and my journey does not need to make sense to you. It makes sense to me and I understand that God is working in mysterious ways in order to take me to the place I need to be. For now, that is the beginning. In a few months I may be in a completely different place, and that is fine with me. As long as I am in the place God puts me I shall be content. So I'm going back to the start.

--sea'sthoughts--